Bear with me. I am insane, but there’s something here.
I’d put on a few pounds over the winter. I was not happy about that. I’d been trying for the past couple months to take them off, but I proceeded to lose and regain the same two pounds over and over again.
Until I started this blog. Now, with no conscious effort, I’m five pounds down. This, despite the fact that I binge at the beginning of every week worrying about what Adam will sing, how Adam will be received, how many votes Adam will get…
My lovely sister, who is the Original Adam Lambert Fan (she scoped him out in a crowd scene even before he auditioned), was already trim, but when I saw her this past Sunday at her Easter brunch, she looked suspiciously thin.
Too thin.
Here’s my theory. I think that watching Adam, writing about Adam, voting for Adam, and forcing your husband, kids, and neighbors to obsess with you over Adam clips (”Look at what he does with his eyebrow here. Did you see that? OK, I don’t think you were watching closely enough, we need to go back…”) increases the heart rate to such a degree that it speeds the metabolism and causes extra pounds to melt away.
Proximity to the Physical Adam probably increases the effect. Have you noticed how skinny Allison has gotten? And Kara is starting to look like a lollipop.
(By contrast, the only person I know who votes for Danny has developed this weird body odor, and we don’t know how to tell her…just so you know the risks.)
I’m contacting the NIH to recommend a broad study.
How’s your heart rate?
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