Sabotage

Why do we sabotage ourselves? Any ideas?

I have been sooo emotional today. I did fine with breakfast (porridge with sultanas and honey) I have drunk over a litre of water and while that isn’t great in the big scheme of things, it is better than the none that I had been having per day. Lunch was to be a chicken foccacia from work but we run out and I didn’t get a chance to make more before I left so I had 2 spinach and feta strudels and a banana. I got home from picking up ds and just lost it. The stress of this week has been building up and building up and tonight I lost it. I didn’t go crazy but I lost all motivation to do anything for anyone. The temptation to tell ds to get himself to bed and forget that he is only 7 was very strong. Thankfully the maternal part of me that cares even when I don’t stood strong.

So where does the sabotage come in? The pizza I ordered for tea and the icecream with sprinkles I am having now. I have lost the care for tonight and want to punish myself. I know that tomorrow I will jump aboard again and start strong again but for now… I am just going to finish the icecream then head to bed.