The Climb

I wasn’t gonna write this one….

About a month or so ago I was watching the Hannah Montana movie with my niece.  I had promised her we would watch a movie and she got to pick.  In my mind, I knew it would end up being this one or the Jonas Brothers concert video (oh to be 9 again!) but I was hoping that perhaps she might pick something different and surprise me.

I got surprised though when at the end, this song was sung, by the latest Disney role model for all people age 7-11 years old, and I found myself tearing up as I listened to the lyrics.  I know.  Don’t laugh at me.  It is a song sung by a girl who lives a double life and is struggling to figure out who she is as she navigates this journey through life.  Hmm that sounds familiar somehow.

Anyway, here is the song.  I was gonna put the official video up, but that video(in all its cheesy-ness) just discounts the power of the lyrics, so you get this really plain one with scrolling lyrics only instead.

Why I am Dropping the Weight

I’m in the middle of a month-long quest to lose weight.

Now, granted … people who have read this blog before have heard this charge before. Shannon, you’re always trying to lose weight. This has been something you’ve tried to do for years. Give it, up. We’ve heard this old song and dance before.

You see, this time is different. I’m actually losing weight this time.

In May, we estimated that my weight had ballooned to 340 to 343 pounds, give or take. Even though I never saw myself on the scale at 343, I wasn’t keeping an active eye on my weight until after our honeymoon, which we walked quite a bit both in Tennessee and Pennsylvania.

All summer, I stabilized my weight, but eventually spiked my weight back to that 340 plateau.

This is what I was looking like in May.

Handsome, huh?

Then something clicked in about mid August. I saw my wedding photos. I saw photos of me and I was disgusted. And, I committed myself unlike ever before to weight loss.

Here’s what I’ve been doing – Gone is McDonald’s and other fast food meals that have been a staple of my diet for 13 years. Gone are pizzas from Papa John’s and Pizza Hut that have been an excuse to cram tons of fat and calories into my stomach. Gone are high calories snacks and sugary substances like Pop Tarts. Gone are sugary cereals for breakfast. Added more protein, more salads, less portions, and more walking.

I’ve been active in weight loss since Labor Day. That is when I dropped turkey on fast food and haven’t been back sense.

Today, I weighed in at 323. I’m unofficially 20 pounds from my highest weight total ever (we say unofficially because they best we can do is estimate I was at 343). I am 12 to 15 pounds down from where I was on Labor Day.

The results are showing. Clothes are fitting better. I have more energy. I feel like I can move around better and I feel like I look better. I don’t have a good photo of where I am now. That will come, but suffice to say … it’s starting to become more noticeable that I’ve lost 20 pounds.

I’m not happy with where I am at. My weight of 323 is a new high, in my perspective, and I don’t want to be higher than this again. The goals are within site. I’m now 23 pounds from my end-of-2009 goal. I have 53 pounds to get to my next goal and 73 to get to my ultimate goal.

There are deadlines. As I mentioned, 23 pounds (300) by December 31. By March 7, 270 pounds. By May 30 (which would be our one year wedding anniversary) 250 pounds.

Here are some weight milestones for you. If I reach 300 pounds, that will be my lowest since my divorce to my first wife. If I get to 270 pounds, I have not weight that little since college. The same with 250.

The goals are withing sight and I will get there.

I guarantee it.

Weight loss graph tells all

Seven weeks and 11.5 lbs gone

Seven weeks of the 20 lb struggle

A picture is worth a thousand words. So I decided to look at my weight loss progress graphically. It really gives me a clear picture of how things are going. As you can see, the steep weight loss curve is tapering off.  It is becoming more and more difficult to chalk up weight losses each week.  And even when I am successful the amount of weight loss is getting smaller and smaller.

You will also notice that I gained weight one week. This really scared me. I am well aware that such a situation can easily lead to a downward spiral, also known as “the slippery slope.” BUT. I was able to turn things around and I am now happy to report that I am back on track.

One of my concerns is maintaining momentum.  As the weight loss slows down it is easy to get discouraged and bored.  I am beginning to wonder what more I can do.  It seems like I am already doing everything that I know to do to lose weight. I feel good about my food choices and have made a lot of progress on portion control. I am exercising 40 min to 1 hour at the gym three times a week.

Another of my concerns is the upcoming holiday season which starts with Halloween and continues through Thanksgiving and Christmas, ending with New Years. That’s two months jampacked with parties, gatherings and food – food – food! And not just any food. No. We are talking about candy, cake, cookies, pies, stuffing, gravy, potatoes.  The pressure is enormous and the temptation will be great.

I have already seen that eating just a little bit off the straight and narrow can lead to a weight gain and undo what has taken me so much effort to achieve. How will I cope with two full months of delightful food offerings? Will I be able to say “no” time after time after time? Or should I just let myself gain some weight and then struggle back from the abyss once more? What other choices do I have?

My Bike Has A Name

A week ago, I went out with my friend Jen for a bike ride.  I have to say here, Jen has incredible endurance.  She doesn’t ride fast like Coach, but I swear she can ride forever!  Oh to be like her! After 18 miles I was DONE, but could not be done, because we were not at our cars yet.  I still had 4 more miles to go!  So I pedaled on.  I ended up riding 22 miles, which I have NEVER done before!  It was ridiculous!

During our ride, she was admiring my new black bike and asked me what I was going to name it.

Name it?!?!

I had not even thought about naming my bike.  So as we rode, we thought of some names.

Black Beauty

Slim Shady

Black Widow

and Wind something…maybe Wind Rider were some of the ideas we came up with.

As we thought of names I realized if I was going to name this bike it had to represent me.  Feminine, yet strong.  It couldn’t be something all frilly and froo froo…because I am not.  It also had to represent what I am about…living, not dying.   My bike is a tool for living.  It is going to carry me for many miles along this journey and therefore is strong in itself.

Just as we reached the turnaround point of our ride, I joked that I should name the bike Beyonce, because I LOVE the song “Single Ladies”.  Jen then told me that Beyonce has an alter ego, named Sasha Fierce.  I liked it.

This is what Beyonce says about Sasha Fierce:

“I have someone else that takes over when it’s time for me to work and when I’m on stage, this alter ego that I’ve created that kind of protects me and who I really am,” the former Destiny’s Child front woman said in a statement.

“Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I’m working and when I’m on the stage.”-Beyonce

When I am working out or training or in a race, a fierce competitor comes out of me.  I want to do and be my best.   And as the pounds come off a new me is being revealed.  This journey hasn’t so much protected me as much as it has revealed me.  A fierce, fighting ME.  One who will not give up.

But I liked that the name is fun and funky…and fierce.

So the final suggestion came.  Sasha Fierce.  It seemed to fit.  It stuck.

So, meet Sasha Fierce.  The one who will carry me many miles…who will help me live bigger…who will help me fly next spring/summer in a few triathlons and who likes to show me who is boss form time to time!

Posed-after legitimate fall to look like the earlier fall!

a meditation on food

A dear friend recently asked a group of us for our opinion on what people would like to learn about healthy eating and weight loss.  I thought I’d have a concise response, but I am apparently quite passionate on the topic, and decided to jot down my ideas here as well.  (I am finding myself to be passionate about most topics these days…who knew I was so opinionated?!)

I will try to keep this as brief as possible.

First and foremost, healthy eating must be looked at not from solely a physical body perspective, but as a reflection of one’s inner contentment.  A person who feels content with her mind, body, and soul, will be much more likely to make positive eating choices.  As we all know, emotions play an enormous role in how we eat, and why we are eating.  So before creating a thousand rules about what is and is not acceptable to eat, take note of your mental and emotional state of being.

Secondly, or maybe this should be first and foremost…hmm…anyway- awareness.  These days much of our society simply runs on autopilot.  We’ve forgotten the power of remaining conscious throughout everyday activities.  Eating can become as much of a meditation as anything else; becoming aware of every morsel you place in your mouth will persuade you to choose healthier options.  Keeping gratitude at the tip of your tongue wouldn’t hurt either.

Along those lines, I think it is important to have a connection to the origin of your food.  Know where your meat was raised.  Find out if it is injected with antibiotics, hormones, or gluten.  (Yes.  Some meat is injected with gluten to make it look plumper.  Odd.)  Know how your food reached your table- a process that can’t help but procure some gratitude and awareness.

Every person is different.  Everyone’s body type is different, metabolism, likes and dislikes, digestive system…you name it- we’re all unique for a reason.  Listen to that and follow your intuition.  I spent many years (I won’t go into detail for those of you who don’t know me well:) struggling with digestion issues, and found myself incredibly frustrated with the lack of recognition that ‘one size doesn’t fit all.’  Finally I learned about ayurvedic medicine, and through that ancient science of health, and in developing more intuition about myself, I now feel equipped to make the food choices that serve me best.

Last, when considering food options, go for the mantra “Eat Real Food.”  (If you haven’t read that book, it is a great read).  Stay away from the packaged goodies with incomprehensible ingredients (that don’t make any sense anyway) and choose foods that are actually that…food.  Believe me, your taste buds will rejoice.

Healthy eating is about nutrition.  Nutrition is about nurturing.  Be certain the foods you eat truly nourish not only your body, but your mind and spirit as well.  Your health and happiness will thank you for it.

It Feels Good When Other People Start To Notice

My dear, sweet friend, Sue, made my week -and it was only Tuesday.   In the interest of full disclosure, I have told her about my 40 pounds in 40 weeks plan.  Yesterday, without provocation, she told me that she noticed a difference in my body, saying something like, “I can see that it’s working already.”  She mentioned that she could notice from a distance and from the back!  Could there have been a more perfect comment?!

Given that I had only maintained my weight from the previous week, I’ve only lost 3 pounds so far, and that I’m PMSing, I could have flown in that moment.  Well, and in the moments since then that I’ve felt boosted by her comments.  While there was no victory dance last Monday, I have been walking a little taller since yesterday. 

I’m doing this for me.  And, it’s still a good feeling when other’s notice a difference.

How I did today:
1.  Sleep - 6 hours last night (personal anxieties)
2.  Exercise - only about 2 hours easy farm work, movement but not much exercise
3.  Strength training - not yet 
4.  Yoga – nope
5.  Meditation – not today
6.  Food – started the day with a quick bagel for breakfast, otherwise healthy food, and two servings of chocolate.

Day 1.

Day 1
Water: in the area of 120 ounces just the second I finish this bottle.
Calories: 1220
How well did I eat?: 5/5
Workout: Circuit training, 1 hour.

Due to a series of pretty ridiculous events, I ended up doing my first workout in possibly over a year while facing 5 enormous bowls of candies and chocolates.

Not candies and chocolates I didn’t love or crave, either. Ones I hadn’t had in several years, ones that take me back to being a wee thing in the country I was born in, one that remind me of grandma’s hugs and playing with puppies and flower meadows. Sassafrass.

I managed to get through my hour long workout without hurling myself head first into the candy bowl or even, in fact, feeling much like eating any candy at all. This may have been because midway through I nearly threw up my dinner. They always have those segments on The Biggest Loser where Jillian gleefully announces that if you’re not ralphing after your first workout you’re not working hard enough, but I had to disagree with her a little when I was heaving into a nearby cup of water.

I was once very in shape and very active, and really could kick a workout’s butt. The only reason my throw-up moment doesn’t make me want to sink into the floor so much is that I remember morning workouts consistently making me nauseated, even when I was thin and fit. If I didn’t have that thought to cling on to, I’d probably be really depressed right now.

…Sassafrass.