Wow, I am actually doing good. I think it is because I am distracted, I am forced not to think so much about myself.
Also, today is the third day I have to eat. Like really eat. And the third day I cannot exercise. And yes, this puts me down. I feel how I am getting fatter and fatter and flabbier. But, I will do it. One week won’t kill me, right? One week will not make me gain 10 Ibs, right? (Ok, I admit every little pound sucks…)
Anyway, I even have been eating candy and chocolate chip cookies…
I mean, I cannot say no, if I am having a guest, right?
Anyway, other than that I am good at pushing all my bad and saddening emotions aside. It really works. But I know it will all crash down once she leaves on Tuesday and I am scared of the drive back from Houston on Tuesday. I mean, I have to do the drive alone… and I fear it will crash down then.
I need to be strong.
So, next week Thursday I will see my nutritionist and I will see how much I gained. I am a little anxious, yes. But we will see.
Oh an about the psychiatrist I was thinking to actually tell her what i thought last time and that I just don’t need empathy or pity…
I cannot open up though.
In Brian’s session I started crying the first time…
I could never in front of Paula.
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