The post title is a quote from one of the emails I get from Sparkpeople. And so is this…
Reinforcing Healthy Competition
Competition is a natural part of life. We are faced with competition for jobs, a mate, and even the best parking spot at the store. Approaching these situations with grace is an important way to model good relationship skills–especially to our children. Often people get angry during competition, but try to be mindful of how this frustration is unleashed. No one wants to be on the receiving end of either a sore loser’s lack of composure or a boastful winner’s lack of grace. Don’t gloat to your friend that your daughter can run faster or read at a higher level than her child. Remember, after the basketball game concludes she is still your friend and you don’t want a moment of hot-headedness to interfere with what really matters–your relationship. Modesty can go a long way!
I’ve been thinking about healthy competition recently. Mostly because MLW has started a new challenge. And I am a very competitive person. At least, I always thought of myself that way.
When I was in high school, I was on the debate team- and I loved it! I got such a thrill out of tournaments. I loved winning the trophies (which are now just gathering dust in my basement), I loved facing my opponents, and really thrived on the challenges. In high school, though, I also used to beat myself up a lot when I didn’t win. I would pour over the ballots to see where the judges thought I had made mistakes, and I would pull all-nighters trying to improve my cases before the next competition.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how unhealthy my obsession with competition was, and I have worked really hard to bring that in check. I love these MLW challenges, but at the same time, I really don’t care. Sure, I like to do well, and I love it when my team does well. But it doesn’t bother me if we aren’t number one in the rankings. I don’t care if I don’t lose the most weight one week, or if my team doesn’t come in first in the team vs team challenges. It’s all in good fun, after all. And besides, the point is to be making positive changes, so no one really loses.
All in all, I have been feeling pretty smug. Reflecting back on my high-school self, comparing that to my “adult” self. Thinking that I really got a handle on this. What a great, healthy attitude I have. Except that, I don’t.
True, I don’t get caught up in the competitiveness on the group level. But I still haven’t really learned to have a healthy competition with myself. Each week I set goals for myself that I struggle to meet. Then I beat myself up for not doing well enough. I look over my food journal and exercise journal over and over again. I compare my workout times to my schedule, and wonder why I took that extra 30 minutes to sleep in the morning, instead of getting up to workout. Why did I take the time to read for fun, when I could have been pouring through cookbooks planning better meals for the week?
It looks like my attitude still needs a lot of adjusting, if I am going to become as healthy and balanced as I want to be!
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